A tyrannical insecure madman, third generation clone of a certain German genetic scientist from the 1940's. Unsatisfied with his employment (creating a cheaper, eco friendly, alternative to living musicians for the record companies) his pet project is a resolution to the 1966 battle of Wembley. He can afford all this through careful reallocation of company funds (resulting in a few budget shortcuts).
Reanimating dead things and football are his life.
El Lardo Infecto:
Shouty man, formerly 'The Mighty Lard of Iron Sphincter fame', recently deceased. Bitten on the arse by an old school zombie he bumbles around incoherently mumbling and groaning. The zombifiaction has made very little change to his character as he continues to survive on a cocktail of booze, fags and brains. Pummelschaftt has found him hardest to reform in his death metal ways.
Fingers like lightning, body likes fighting the ultimate lead guitarist. Bitten by one of those new fangled fast zombies Helmet enjoys scratching, biting, leather and chains. He has also developed a fetish for headgear, in particular Pummelschaftt's helmet. Using his fast fingers he took the first opportunity to swipe it from the neurotic nazi and now wears it constantly (if only just to mock him).
Helmet has an amazing back catalogue of songs and can play almost anything. Unfortunately he cannot be trusted to play the right notes in the correct order. This causes him to revert to his default setlist playing Iron Sphincter riffs often resulting in onstage chaos.
Chuck is a rebel with a bad attitude, fast and crafty he's fed at a distance via ingenious pulley system attached to a bucket due to his speed and agility. Bitten by a fastie he spends his time running round in circles causing havoc making feeding him very difficult. Often it is unclear whether Chuck wants food or is in love with "BUCKET".
Chuck often becomes de-synchronized with the group when he does not eat in time with the others.
Fun fact: Chuck is a Zombie anomaly, as he is the first Zombie to be recorded phrasing a full sentence. On the 05/07/2013 at 04:15 am Chuck was heard to have said: "Werrsss mee fuuurrrkkkkin BuuuuuUUket!!!".
The Dark One
The first Zombie bitten by both fast and slow zombie "The Dark One" has gained powers beyond anything previously witnessed in Zombieology. Never seen to feed on the remains of his victims he somehow manages to hunt without leaving his cage...
Recent cctv (research) footage has revealed he may have the ability to teleport whilst producing a smoke screen.
This is not good.
However there is hope, although he butchers his victims in an indecent way his bloodlust can be sated with a constant supply of Jack Daniels. As a safety measure we all now carry at least 5 bottles on our person at all times.
Thunder 'Knuckles' McFugger:
Unusually aggressive with an appetite to match this Zombie spends most of his time chewing on the leftover corpses of the guards courtesy of The Dark One. Bitten by a slow zombie his average speed is around 2mph however given proper incentive (feculent matter) can increase his speed to 3mph. Treat like a rabid tyrannosaur on Valium.
Like most Bass players will eat anything and wanders aimlessly around onstage with little purpose.